How to Change Negative Behaviors

It is very easy to lapse into negative behaviors, both because of our always busy lifestyles and because of access to social networks, which lead us to compare ourselves with the lives of other people and to think that we are not doing as well as they are.  The truth is that everyone progresses at their own pace and you not only have to compare your situation with other people you consider successful, but also with those that do not have the same opportunities as you do.

Normally we focus on the negative and we get bogged down with everything we do not have or with what we would like to have, and we take for granted many things we end up considering as normal and for which we should be very grateful instead.

There are several negative behaviors, but there are simple methods you can start to use in order to prevent any negative behaviors from taking control of your life.

1. Focus on yourself and on your development.

Take the first step to change your negative behaviors and forget to try to change the people around you or to blame them for your current situation.  The only person that can change your life is you, sometimes we need help, but at the end of the day it is you who decides to do it and make it a reality.  Do not wait until the people around you change with you since they will have to make their own decision and go through their own process to achieve that change in negative behaviors.

During this first step the most important thing is to make the decision to effect change and to take responsibility for successfully modifying the behavior you are looking to change.

2. Identify behavior patterns that are not beneficial

We have carried most of the negative behaviors since childhood based on the way we were brought up or because of situations we have experienced, which lead us to adopt different positions, scarred us, or helped us grow.

What’s important in this step is to recognize those behavior patterns that are not positive for our lives.  Not everything we have learned is perfect and there are times when we have to give ourselves the chance to unlearn behaviors in order to learn a different and better way to face our lives.

3. Change your focus into a positive one

It is very important to learn to identify all that is good in our lives.  Normally we focus on what we lack and we don’t stop to be grateful for all that we have, which many people wished they had.

If you start changing your focus, you will begin to see that each one of the experiences you’ve had, even those you consider to be negative experiences has, as a result, taught you a lesson that has helped you grow and made you the person you are today.  Be grateful for everything that you have and forget about thinking of all that you “lack”.  Time is the most valuable thing we have and you can use this moment as a second chance to attain a full life.  There will be times that will not seem very motivating, but remember that in everything you can find a positive side and it depends on you to highlight it and be grateful for it, or continue to fill yourself with negativity.

4. Modify your thoughts and your language

It is a fact that everything we think is what we attract into our lives, if we keep focusing on the negative and everything that we don’t have, we will continue to attract situations that get harder each time, which try to teach us that it could be worse.  Offer advice if someone asks you for it, but remember that that person could be going through their own process of change and your words can be the deciding factor in the success or failure of their change in behaviors.

This can be one of the most difficult steps since we are used to thinking in negative ways and many times we say things without really thinking about what the repercussions could be.  Each time you are about to say something negative, stop and change it to something positive.  This will make all the difference not only for yourself but also for the person that receives your positive comment.  At the beginning this will seem really difficult, but with time you will get used to it and feel very good.

5. Change your position and commit to change

There are cases where people adopt a certain mood and make it their permanent reality, when it’s something that we decide, perhaps subconsciously, and manifest it with our body and this becomes a vicious cycle.  Identify your body’s reaction to different situations and work on changing the stimuli you are accustomed to.

When you realize that you are having a negative attitude, don’t get carried away by your emotions.  Move around, walk a bit, and try to distract yourself from the problem that caused it in the first place.  Once you have calmed down, analyze what caused it and how your body reacted.  Make a conscious decision to take the good from the situation and discard the bad.

Remember that each person confronts challenges differently because of their own past experiences, therefore this method may not be useful to everyone.  If you face difficulties along the way, we recommend getting professional help.  It’s important to recognize that no matter what the past, you are the only person responsible for the present and you are the only person that can create change in yourself.  Deciding to do so is the first step, but you don’t have to do it alone.  Think about your actions, be grateful for what you have, and look for the good in each aspect of your life, no matter how small you think it is.